2019 was the year I have been waiting for awhile to come. Why? because it was the year that will change my life and my family’s lives as well. We have big dreams and plans for this year. Sometimes things happen in between your dreams and plans and you get pushed back further because of those circumstances. I do have the power to change them or keep moving forward. I’m a very optimistic person because I chose to be and I’m also a Christian. When you read Gods word, it gives you hope, strength, courage even through your trials in life.
I had a rough start in January and it carried on till now. There were some good days in between but other than that, most were not or they were ok. I’ve always wanted a lifestyle change since I was in my late 20s. I don’t know if people have a mid crisis but I did. I’m also very ambitious and I like to learn new things especially in the creative and technical areas. My life really changed when I became a Christian. It made me dream bigger, not really on material things but rather my purpose to help people. I didnt know what that was until maybe I was 29-30. I became an LMT and as much as I enjoyed it, I didnt have a business plan or a backup plan if things didnt work out. I wouldnt say I failed my business, I gave up too early and I wasnt prepared of how it was going to affect me and my family. So after a year, I had to make a new decision, that was going back to being an employee. I got blessed when I got a job that I wanted. I am very thankful for it, but as the months and the years go by and circumstances arise, you start reconsidering a new lifestyle. You look back at what happened, you start asking yourself questions and at the same time you need to be practical because other people depend on you and it holds you back from taking another risk.
I had thoughts of wanting to travel and move to another country for a few months for the experience, to live in a new environment and rediscover your purpose in life in the past. I’ve always know who I am in my 20s and its been challenging to pursue it in full force because my energy is sucked in by my day job, my kids and all the things around the house. Tonight for the first time ever, I actually thought of truly wanting to move out of the country. My parents are retiring soon and I am looking for a change. I would like to wake up and just live and not worry of what to wear, what time do i need to leave to get to work, where do i eat lunch and how long should i take a break, what time do I pick up my children, do I cook dinner or buy dinner and what time can I actually shower and or go on my MAC. I missed when I was on maternity leave for 3 months straight, even if I wasnt 100% feeling okay. I never had to think about those things, I did most of the things I wanted to with no time limit. I have several months to think about whats important and focus on that, what goals did I plan and how do I achieve them this year. One thing is for sure is I definitely want a lifestyle change. I need to find my life balance once again. I know God will guide me throughout this journey in life as he has always done and continues to do so.